Guys, let me ask you a question: are you a breast-man or an ass-man? There’s really no wrong answer, unless you try to use some third option crap that ends up being weird and creepy, like eye-man. I don’t want to see what that porn looks like.
Groupies! How awesome.
In our last Sex And Poker Ed lesson, we discussed How to Play with Big Ones. Today we’ll look at how playing on multiple tables can alleviate the pain of waiting for these big hands.
Regardless of your preference, you know that you have certain prerequisites for a relationship with a woman, namely a well-shaped anatomical feature. These discerning tastes translate easily to poker, where we get attracted to and invested in any number of hand characteristics like pairs, face cards, containing an ace, or being suited. But playing poker is better than your sex life. Why? Because you don’t have to accept every hand that comes to you and see where it goes. Because you’ll get another hand in the next minute. In short, you can be discerning. Think about what you would do if a different woman approached you every minute! I would only talk to girls who had a D-cup or bigger.
Great Proportions
Now what if you doubled or tripled that number? If your orderly line of women hoping to meet you turned into a screaming herd of groupies, how would you be able to decide who you would talk to? This is the kind of quality problem that you can get yourself into by playing on multiple tables. Before you decided to get swept up in the excitement, you need to set some standards for your play before you open the second window.
Cut The Fat
Actively seek out hands that don’t meet your standards and fold them, using advanced actions. This way, you’re only using energy on the hands that are deserved of your time.
Decide On a Type
If you told everyone who wasn’t, say, a blonde, to leave, your groupies would be much more manageable and you would be more attracted to any of the girls you spoke to. In the same way, don’t complicate matters by trying to play three different types of games at once. Hegemony breeds playing rhythm.
Pick Out The Aggressive Ones
The aggressive girls are better in bed, but will chase you to the ends of the earth to collect child support. With the same cautionary wisdom of risks and rewards, you must keep track of who is raising pots at your tables. Poker is still a people game, so you can’t afford to standardize your game completely.
Bathroom Breaks!
your band of groupies, like the game, will be there when you get back. Don’t forget to take breaks to release some of the pressure. I personally can only take about two hours of multi-tabling before I start losing concentration; maybe that’s a good time to go take a leak and do some calisthenics.
The best thing about playing with multiple tables open is that you don’t have to feel like you’ve invested much into a single hand. Just like, if my girlfriend didn’t have dinner ready for me one night, I would be able to let her go because, well, there’s always the groupies.
Thinking about hoards of seductive women has reminded me of the greatest groupie movie of all time - Almost Famous. I’m a Golden God! Here a clip to get you in the mood…
Cutting the Fat is a good tip. Something else I do is to have a shortlist - actually written on a piece of paper (or onscreen - but I only have one monitor). Then as you are playing and you are tempted to play certain hands, you look at your cheat sheet which contains the types of hands (minimum requirements) you play in certain positions.
I find this prevents me from getting into trouble through boredom and teaches me the value of patience. Something I had a lot of when I first started playing, but have noticed dwindles over time.
And great clip, epic!