I think there’s a distinct possibility that Phil Hellmuth doesn’t know how to play poker anymore. I mean, I feel weird saying that. He’s a two-time WSOP champion, holds 11 bracelets and was the youngest ever champion. But seriously, I haven’t seen him do anything but suck for a long time.
WSOP Champion Phil Hellmuth - the poker brat finds a rare smile
I concede that I have a selective memory and that I want to see the ‘pokerbrat‘ fail, just like the bad guys on WWE. So whenever I watch him making TV appearances on tournament and cash-game formats, the instances where he curses the gods of probability and makes some kind of disgusting, stupid, but self-righteous plays that inevitably lead to his own personal demise make me think, well that’s just fine.
But it’s instances that aren’t on camera where he seems to have a complete meltdown that lead me to think that he’s just not up to the challenge of playing against the world’s most refined and dominating players like those generated online. Instances like this, where Hellmuth is playing against a celebrated (feared?) short-handed limit Hold ‘em player at the ultimatebet.com tables, Hoss_TBF, and just completely loses his mind and his chip stack. Here’s one of my favorite interactions between the players:
PHILHELLMUTH: moron gets every raise in when tiny favorite
PHILHELLMUTH: pathtetic play
PHILHELLMUTH: U horrible
PHILHELLMUTH: KK for me
PHILHELLMUTH: nice 3 bet
PHILHELLMUTH: this is ridiculous
PHILHELLMUTH: 6-5 vs KK
PHILHELLMUTH: y’all are so awful I feel like ****
HOSS_TBF: you’re a silly goose
PHILHELLMUTH: how the **** U guys get away with it?
PHILHELLMUTH: why U three bet with 6-5?
PHILHELLMUTH: OK
PHILHELLMUTH: U wanna play bad so be it
PHILHELLMUTH: Ill play even tighter
HOSS_TBF: sweet heavens xmas has come early
PHILHELLMUTH: In guess I wouldn’t have deca millions without bad players
HOSS_TBF: sure you would
HOSS_TBF: but you wouldn’t have the millions without television
Well put, Hoss. You know, I’m reminded of the commentary track on the Rounders DVD (go ahead, say it: NERD!) when Hellmuth’s annoying catch-phrase is “they should just play great poker.” Someone who is playing great poker, when faced against an over-aggressive nemesis, would adapt in whatever way is most beneficial. Someone who is playing great poker would be in control enough not to criticize his opponent’s play when he’s losing, which really only encourages your nemesis because he’s making money and tilting you. Someone who’s playing great poker would get the best out of the situation, whether it’s getting tricky, getting obvious, or getting out of the table.
Phil, you should just learn to play great poker.
