So you’re that player, huh?
You’re the player who has as many monitors as stockbrokers at the NYSE. You’re the type of player who plays so many tables and so effectively that you’re accused of being a bot. You play using the Wal-Mart business model: marginal profits with large quantity.
Moby Dick - the elusive poker bonus
That’s great! I want to tell you about the biggest bonus on the internet, made specially for you.
Hollywood Poker is unique in online poker in that it offers different bonuses, suited to different types and calibers of poker players. At the highest level, the “Professional Level,” allows for a 1000% bonus, up to $5,000. That’s a lot of zeros.
Bonus Earning Strategies
Of course, the hard part about bonuses is getting enough play in to earn them. I want you to take down the whole enchilada, so let’s see what it’s going to take. The number of points you need to earn before you get the entire $5,000 is 100,000 over 90 days, so that’s about 1112 points per day.
Cash Game Players
The rake system is built such that you usually get a point for every hand you’re dealt in limit games of $3/$6 or higher and no-limit/pot-limit games that average about $20 pots every hand. At around 60 hands per hour, it takes roughly 18.5 hours of play per day on one table to keep up with the average. Choosing to play short-handed or a couple of tables at once can cut into that chunk.
| No. Tables | 1 | 2 | 4 | 6 |
| 60 hands/hr | 18.5hrs | 9.3hrs | 4.5hrs | 3hrs |
| 80 hands/hr | 14hrs | 7hrs | 3.5hrs | 2.3hrs |
At minimum, you’ll need about $1,200 if you’re a very consistent player with a fridge full of Red Bull, and at maximum you may need $11,000 if you can handle the fast pace of multiple tables.
Tournament Players
You earn 5 pts for every dollar spent in tournament fees, so try to keep to sit-and-goes for high turnover and quick playability. The higher the stakes, the more you pay in fees and the more you get when you win. The following table shows the number of sessions that you must play with that number of tables at those stakes to meet the average point earning for the day.
| No. Tables | 1 | 2 | 4 | 6 |
| $10 S&G | 222 | 111 | 56 | 37 |
| $20 S&G | 111 | 56 | 28 | 19 |
| $30 S&G | 74 | 37 | 19 | 13 |
Further, if you can’t place first about once every five games (or third more than once every other game), you’ll be leaking money back into the system and taking from the full bounty of the bonus. You can expect to blow through a lot of time, money, and tables with the minimum of $500 for one table at a time, or if you’re playing the highest stakes at the fastest rate, a bankroll of around $9,900. Of course, if you go in this direction, you will have spent $220,000 in tournament fees and buy-ins to reach the $5,000 bonus in full. Since your bonus covers a little more than 2% of the total investment, you should definitely make sure you’re at least a break-even tourney player before you go with the en masse route.
Throw-ins!
Hollywood Poker also offers all kinds of specials with this plan, including 4 shots at a $100 freeroll that you shouldn’t bother with until after you’ve collected the big one, as well as exclusive access to the Hollywood Poker online boutique where you can spend your newly gained points toward more than 400 items.
And once you’ve collected your bonus, go ahead and shoot me an email with your screen name so I know never to play with you again.
