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B is for Badugi, Bluffing and Bottoms

The A-Z of Poker

Last week we kicked things off in style with A is for All-In, Call F**k. This week we get an attack from the killer b’s and find out what the alphabet’s second-most-close-to-the-start letter has to offer the world of poker.

Sesame Street! Fuckin A... Er I mean Fuckin B

Sesame Street! Fuckin A... Er I mean Fuckin B

1. BACKDOOR

Oh come on, like you weren't thinking the same thing!

Oh come on, like you weren't thinking the same thing!

Backdoor. This one conjours up all kinds of sexual connotations and I’ll those to your overly active imaginations to figure out. In poker, backdoor typically refers to requiring two or more rounds to complete your hand. For example, catching if you catch two consecutive cards in two rounds of Texas hold ‘em or seven-card stud to make up your straight or flush. The backdoor part referring to the fact that you sneaked it in when no one was looking - an unlikely scenario that usually pisses a few people off.

Now Try Using Backdoor in a sentence…

From Wikipedia I started with four hearts hoping for a flush, but I backdoored two more kings and my trips won.
Gangsta Bring the shit around to the backdoor.

Best Backdoor Reference on the Internetz…

2. BADUGI

Badugi is the stupidest poker game in the world.

Badugi is the stupidest poker game in the world.

Badugi is a draw poker game with similar hand values to lowball poker. It came from Korea originally and is now becoming more common, showing up in come online poker rooms. To play Badugi, players’ are given four cards at any one time. In each of the three drawing rounds, you can trade all or one of your cards for new ones, the obvious goal being to make the best hand to win the pot. The question here is WTF is Badugi!!! This is best answered by showing what the best hand in Badugi is. The best possible hand is A-2-3-4 all of different suites. In opposition to this is the worst hand K-K-K-K.

Now Try Using Badugi in a sentence…

Usage Let’s play Badoooooogi! (as I thought it was spelled), camaaaan!!! Let’s play. Typical responses to a request to play Badugi - fuck off, go fuck yourself, oh sweet jesus no, please, it’s not even real poker! Fine, but you pay my buy-in.

Best Badugi Reference on the Internetz…

3. BAD BEAT

Legend has it that bad beats suck. That could be a good thing in this instance...

Legend has it that bad beats suck. That could be a good thing in this instance...

If you don’t know what a bad beat is you’ve not been playing enough poker! Bad beats suck really hard (see photo opposite). Typically you can call it a bad beat when you seemed to be a sure thing to win, then the gremlins of fate decided to deal a ridiculously non-mathematically obvious scenario where you lose with your last gasp of breath on The River.

Best Bad Beat Reference Online…

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4. BANKROLL

Roll that big fat wad of cash

Roll that big fat wad of cash

The term bankroll refers to the amount of money that a player for playing poker. It’s common for this stash to be kept separate from other money and to be used exclusively for playing poker. The idea being to watch it grow and to play within certain limits allowed by your bankroll. When your bankroll grows from successful play, you gradually step up in limits to allow you to progress.

Now Try Using Bankroll in a sentence…

Usage How big is your bankroll? (I know, that’s kinda lame but it’s a simple term)

Best Bankroll Reference on the Internetz…

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5. BLIND STUD

Sorry, I know it's mean, but I am complimenting him at the same time.

Sorry, I know it's mean, but I am complimenting him at the same time.

Blind stud is a stud style poker game where all of your cards are dealt face down. I’ve personally never heard of anyone playing it, but apparently it was popular in California for a time. Doesn’t sound like the most skillful of games but it could be fun. Can also be used (see photo) to describe a hot guy who can’t see.

Now Try Using Blind Stud in a sentence…

Usage (Woman talking) You sir are incredibley rich and very good looking so I’m willing to ignroe the fact that you are blind, stud!

Best Blind Stud Reference on the Internetz…

6. BLUFFING

Bluffing, lying, it's all much the same

Bluffing, lying, it's all much the same

Bluffing is poker speak for bullshitting and lying. Pretending you have something that you don’t (sounds very much like a Bangkok ladyboy - or is that the exact opposite?). It’s an essential part of the game of poker and an element that’s guaranteed to get your blood pumping. In fact it’s a classic tell when you can see the bulging pumping veign in someone’s neck when they are bluffing. Although you need a certain amount of skill to detect this.

Now Try Using Bluffing in a sentence…

Quote If you don’t ever get caught bluffing you almost certainly don’t bluff enough.
Quote But again, bluffing is the vegetable of revenue streams.

Best Bluffing Reference on the Internetz…

7. BOTTOM PAIR

You might need to switch to a British accent when you say bottom, but there's no denying this "pair of bottom's" is a winner!
Bottom pair (hiding my eyes from the photo) refers to having a pair with the lowest card on the board. So if the flop was 2s Qd Ac and you had Kh 2d - you would be holding bottom pair (the 2’s or deuces). It’s not a favourable situation unless you are heads up in which case it can mean you are ahead by hitting anything. But more importantly, that is a smashing pair of bottoms in the photo. Sadly, very sadly, it also refers to the last 2 remaining contestants in a show such as “So you think you can dance” - where the ones who suck the most are clasified as the “bottom pair”. Lame.

Now Try Using Bottom Pair in a sentence…

Usage You called with bottom pair? Good to know you’re such a donkey.
Usage (With fake bravado) Can you beat bottom pair? (Sensing weakness) No I didn’t think so, I’m all in.

From the show “Bottom”. Pretty much the funniest video ever.

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8. BOUNTY

Don't fuck with Dog

Don't fuck with Dog

a bounty in poker is a cash prize or incentive applied to the game (separate from the regular prize structure) that pays you money if you eliminate a particular player. It’s common in online poker rooms to run bounty tournaments where a number of pro players have bounties on their heads. It makes the game really fun as you’ll get people gunning for those with bounties, making ridiculous plays to try and knock them out.

Now Try Using Bounty in a sentence…

Usage (Scottish accent) You’re bound tae enjoy that poker game more now that we’re playing for money. (work with me here)

Best Bounty Reference on the Internetz…

9. BUBBLE

Bubble Boy!!!

Bubble Boy!!!

The “Bubble” is the absolute worst finishing position in poker tournaments. It’s the last finishing position that doesn’t make it into the payout structure of the tournament. So if out of 1000 players, the top 100 “pay out” - being “on the bubble” is when there are 101 players left. As soon as this player is eliminated, everyone else breaths a sigh of relief as they have made it to the money, and the last player eliminated before the money is the official bubble boy or girl. It’s the worst position because it pays exactly the same as going out first (fuck all) and means you wasted exactly the maximum amount of time playing with zero payoff.

Now Try Using Bubble in a sentence…

Usage Arrrrg, I’m the bubble boy again! I hate going out on the bubble, I just wasted 15 hours of my life.

Best Bubble Reference on the Internetz…

Video Classic Seinfeld episode.

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2 Responses to “B is for Badugi, Bluffing and Bottoms”

  1. Sean Lind says:

    What about:
    Busto
    Brick
    Bring-in

  2. Busto - I like it. Can’t say I’ve heard it uttered before but I can picture it.

    After a quick Google, “Busto poker” came up with this blog - http://www.bustoblogs.com/poker-busto-poker-blotto-poker-busto/18/

    Fist line of this post is gold - “Only a jackass would play poker when he’s drunk.”

    Ending with “You don’t have to be blotto to go busto.”

    There we go. Busto.

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