Did you know that Evelyn Ng and Daniel Negreanu hooked up when they were teens? I guess it’s behaviorally ingrained in Canadian’s minds to cuddle to keep each other warm on those cold dark nights by the poker table. I only caught on to their affair when reading one of Daniel’s recent blog posts.
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- Daniel Negreanu weighs up his relationship options
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- Evelyn Ng is saying 'hurry up and play you slow canadian!'
In the post Daniel explains, in graphic detail, how far his teen sweetheart will go to exact a bitter revenge against him many, many years after the break-up. He begins by detailing the circumstances of this unfortunate encounter:
A while back she [Evelyn Ng] bought me a birthday present and I was too lazy to pick it up from her place. Eventually she gave my present to someone else. No big deal, my bad for not coming by to grab it. That’s not what destroyed me.
What destroyed me is that eventually, just this week, she did in fact have this “gift” sent to my house. This gift is just the end of me and I still don’t know why she would do this to me. She bought me Rock Band 2 for X-BOX 360. It’s over for me. My life wasn’t all that exciting before I got this game, but now I’m just a total mess. Leaving the house is as unlikely as Michael Jackson fathering a baby without artificial insemination. I was instantly addicted, and I knew it from the very first drum beat.
Daniel Negreanu is a very successful player and I would be willing to include him in a short list of iconic players in modern times. He has 114 cashes and a total of over $10 Million in tournament earnings. He has authored a section in the updated poker classic, Super System II, put out his own book, Power Hold ‘em Strategy, and contributed more than 100 articles to CardPlayer Magazine, which makes this gesture of Evelyn’s all the more heinous.
For those of you unfamiliar with the game Rock Band 2, it has had a number of effects on western civilizations since its introduction, including:
- Instantaneous lowering of the cumulative GPA of any students living in a household with the system of at least 0.3, the median being 0.55.
- Contributing to the deranged fantasies of tens of thousands of terrible musicians and indirectly polluting the live music scenes of many metropolitan areas.
- Numerous physical injuries such as carpal tunnel, sight and hearing degradation, and abdominal tears caused by laughing too hard at your friends while they try to sing Alanis Morisette’s “You Oughtta Know.”
Evelyn has clearly crossed the line in setting up a man who has contributed so much to the poker world. While Negreanu clearly has a sense of humor on the topic, I can say as a consumer of poker-related media that this is no laughing matter. Evelyn must be stopped. Mr. Negreanu, if you’re reading this, I will offer myself to assist you in your time of need in whatever way I can. If you would like to send me the game, I’m certain that I can dispose of it in a proper manner. But not before unlocking the bonus tracks.
